Last December I had gone home to visit my parents. It was one of those usual year end trips I take every year but this time it was a bit.....different. After 42 years of service my dad was finally hanging up his boots. As I entered by home I felt the air slightly different. First question I asked my mom, "Where is dad?". My mother replied with a smile, "He still has 4 days left...Where do you think he will be?" It was a question who's answer I had known all my life. Dad was on duty and he will be on duty till the last minute of his service. The next 4 days saw a constant stream to people coming to our house to bade their good byes. The number of people I spoke to in those 4 days is much more than what I would normally speak to in 4 months. As my dad introduced me to each one of them I realized something, "I was known by my dad's name. My identity was my father." Suddenly I wanted to be like him.
Finally the d-day arrived. My dad is not the type to share his feeling in open. As he left for duty for the last time, I saw a glimmer of sadness in his eyes for the first time. A man who loved to work for 16 hours a day......I could make out how he felt. As the day passed my mother and me waited for him to come back home in the evening. Both of us didn't talk about this the whole day but we could think to nothing else. Dad came home and suddenly he seemed much older. Somehow from morning to evening he had aged many years. He was smiling but his eyes were betraying him.
Soon it was time for me return to Bangalore. As I packed I noticed my mom looking at me. It was not something new but this time it felt as though her eyes were saying something. As I tried to figure out what it might be, it struck me.......My mother was saying, "Your father has done his duty....now its your turn. Make us proud." Suddenly it felt as though a boulder has been placed on my shoulder. Slowly the feeling started to sink in. Life felt a little different. Responsibilities had taken the front seat and all other things seemed trivial. I returned to Bangalore the next day...but things had changed. Now everything I do, I try to see it in this new light. There's a long way to go before I am anywhere close to my dad. I am prepared for this journey.....only time will tell how far I am able to go.....
These are things that will happen in everybody's life... But it matters differently depending on how much you adore your father and how much you take him to be your role model / hero.... Of course responsibilities are more but still you got to learn how to manage/ balance personal & professional life... One without the other would be a disaster...
ReplyDeleteTry to remain focused but still enjoy the trivial things in the world also... Life is beautiful to spend it worrying always... You never get the time lost...
Happy working and wishing you all the best in life...